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Wednesday, January 13, 2010


When everyone said I shouldn't get married....I should have not been so stubborn and actually taken a step back to look at the situation.

When you decided that we should sleep with as little touching as physically possible....I should have realized.

When you decided that you weren't in the mood for 350 days in a row, and that it wasn't important or a priority...I should have left.

When the counselor said it was all my fault because I wanted physical affection and you didn't...I shouldn't have listened.

When I spent hours and hours planning for an adventurous, creative date and you just said "Do I have to?  I'm tired and want to go to bed."  and then proceeded to talk on the phone for 2 hours....I shouldn't have invested my time and effort because it was obviously not important.

When you held it over my head for 10 years that I talked to someone from my past... just talked...I shouldn't have cared.

When I confided very difficult and personal things to you, and you ignored me because you didn't think it was really an issue or a problem.  I shouldn't have been surprised.

When I was driving away, finally leaving, and you called me because you had something planned...I shouldn't have turned around, it just prolonged the inevitable.

When you decided it was okay to be in separate bedrooms because it was more convenient and you slept better.  I should have told you I didn't like it.... Oh wait... I did... but what I wanted wasn't as important...maybe I shouldn't have bothered.

When you pushed me away.... I should have gone.

I'm sorry for all the things I should have done but didn't.  I'm sorry for 15 years.


  1. This post certainly opened my eyes to your situation and why you make the choices you make. It's an example of how trials help us get to know ourselves better and grow in astounding ways.

  2. Hey Casey- I know we don't know each other REALLY well... (i'm just your 1st cousin, that's all) :) and i'm not sure how i came across your blog so randomly. but, i just wanted to tell you that i'm sorry things have been so crazy in your life lately. I hope that you've found your happiness. :)